The Way to Someone’s Heart
I remember a time pre-COVID when a group of friends and a family of five sat across me in a restaurant. As we were all waiting to be served, I was expecting to be overwhelmed by the noise. It was weird to hear nothing so I glanced up from the menu that I was reading and found the source of the silence. Each of the person in the group of friends and each of the members of the family was virtually occupied, their eyes were all glued to their respective gadgets, not speaking to each other. Sadly, I wasn’t surprised. Seeing this view is normal, albeit painful. And it’s hard to accept the reality of it. Let’s be honest, we get all chatty in our family’s group chat but in real life, we avoid talking about difficult things. Sometimes, a heart-to-heart talk with a loved one sounds so foreign to us so when the opportunity arises, we get all panicky and ruin the chance for connection.
We are all failing miserably in having open communication with the people around us and we wonder why our relationships break.
Open Communication precedes Healthy Relationships
If you are a person who seeks to have healthy relationships, then having open communication is imperative in keeping and maintaining those relationships. But most of the time, we tend to talk about ourselves more than we are willing to listen to other people. We do this because our hearts are full of ourselves and empty of compassion for others.
Luke 6:45 says,“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
Let us be motivated by love when we listen. If we put the other person’s need before us because of our love for them, it would be easier for us to let them talk and listen with the intent of understanding their situation or helping them through the pain or just being there with them. Fill your heart with the Father’s love by connecting to Him, and out of the overflow of that love, we will find words that will edify, encourage, and bless other people.
As singles, do we create an environment where the people around us can talk about anything without any judgment? Or are we quick to judge when a co-worker talks about their frustrations about their job and complains about their tasks? How do we respond when a sibling mentions his or her dreams about the future? Do we find it hard to listen to a mother’s incessant talk? Unfortunately, we tend to react first, offer our own opinions, and give advice without even attempting to get to the heart of the person. When faced with these situations, let us pause first before responding. Remember that our words have the power to heal, but we need to be more careful of its power to hurt. Ask questions and be sincere in trying to understand first before even thinking of a way to answer. James was very clear when he said..
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” — James 1:19–20.
The Best Example
Let’s consider how Jesus listened. During His ministry, He has always stopped to communicate with the people around Him because He had deep compassion for them. When He struck a conversation with the Samaritan woman by the well in John 4:4–26, it was evident that He did it without any prejudice, knowing full well the social, moral, and gender distinctions between them. He was sincere when He asked questions because although He already knew what was going on in that woman’s life, He wants to be able to draw it out from her, help her realize the reality of the sin that she’s living in, and understand her need for hope that He is offering. Remember that ,
The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” — Proverbs 20:5.
Jesus is still very intentional in communicating with us until now, this is a character that we need to emulate in all our relationships. At the end of the day, our goal is to be Christ-like whatever we do as Paul petitioned us to be like him in 1 Corinthians 11:1 “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”
Discussion Questions:
When was the last time that we actually took the time to sit and listen to a friend’s story?
What are the practical ways that we can intentionally do to open a conversation with a family member who is being distant and silent?
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Honey Lagorra
09/23/2020